No, Virginia​.​.​.

by The Dresden Dolls

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about

A collection of unheard treasures from the vault of The Punk Cabaret taken from the "Yes, Virginia" sessions & featuring new songs from the winter '08 sessions.

To place an order for the extremely awesome 300+ page BOOK of artwork, photos, stories, lyrics and SHEET MUSIC (for piano/guitar/vocal) corresponding to this and to "Yes, Virginia"; and plus more more more....go to www.jsrdirect.com/webstores/afp&dresdendolls/

credits

released 20 May 2008
Vocals, Piano, Keyboard, Organ: Amanda Palmer
Drums, Vocals, Electric Bass, Percussion: Brian Viglione

Mastered at Sterling Sound (NYC) by George Marino.
All songs written by Amanda Palmer (except "Pretty In Pink"*).

Tracks 1, 2, 4, 7, and 10:
Produced & Mixed by Sean Slade
Engineered by Benny Grotto
Recorded at Mad Oak Studios (Allston, MA)

Tracks 3 and 8:
Produced by Sean Slade & The Dresden Dolls
Engineered by Adam Taylor. Recorded at Camp Street Studios (Cambridge, MA).
"Pretty In Pink" mixed by Adam Taylor. "The Mouse and the Model" mixed by Sean Slade.

Tracks 5, 6, 9, and 11:
Produced by Sean Slade, Paul Q. Kolderie & The Dresden Dolls
Mixed by Paul Q. Kolderie, except "Boston" Mixed by Adam Taylor, Engineered by Paul Q. Kolderie & Adam Taylor, Recorded at Allaire Studios (Shokan, NY) and Camp Street Studios (Cambridge, MA)

Front cover image by Amanda Palmer
Creative Director/Design: Charles Dooher
All songs published by Eight Foot Music (ASCAP), except "Pretty In Pink" [published by EMI Blackwood Music Inc. o/b/o BMI Songs LTD (BMI)]
* "Pretty In Pink" written by John Ashton, Richard Butler, Timothy Butler, Vincent Davey, Duncan Kilburn & Roger Morris. All Songs (P) 2008 The All Blacks B.V., except "Pretty In Pink" (P) 2005 The All Blacks B.V.

Sean Slade plays Mellotron on track 4 and organ on track 10
Greg Disterhoft (electric guitar) and Jim Smith (bass) appear on track 3
Amanda presses keys and Brian blows air into the melodica on track 8

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Track Name: Dear Jenny
boys wear overcoats in heat like this to keep themselves from showing
girls fill out prescriptions for the tricks that keep their hearts from growing
specialists review the year in tears and call for drastic measures
send them to resorts for boys and girl to get their wits together

sad but true the facts of life are bound to get you down
so whats the use dear jenny anyway the world is pretty...

ashley talks to astronauts back home by way of fax transmission
andy gets a new tattoo each time his pastor comes to visit
weary o so drearily we wave our flags into the camera
amber goes the hotlines are friends but no-one ever answers

sad but true the truth can turn your smile to a frown
so whats the use dear jenny anyway the world is pretty
upside-down...

the rates are better in the summer
looks like dear jenny’s doing better...

back at home the broadcast warning bounces off of an empty table
jenny asks the astronauts to sleep with her behind the stable
christmas hasn’t been the same since dad put in the central heating
checks you before bedtime with a battery to keep your new heart beating

and the world might turn a million times around before
they tell you jenny anyway the world is pretty world is pretty happy world is pretty happy

sometimes they let strangers in and other times they check their records
when they check out in the morning dad puts out the lie detectors
jenny prays to gods she’s never heard of for a special hurting
all the walls stay dead as jenny's head is
but shes still observing

sad but true the two of us might really make it through
but whats the use dear jenny anyway
the world is happy
world is happy
world is happy without you...

the rates are better in the summer....
looks like old jenny's doing better...
Track Name: Night Reconnaissance
nothing is crueler than children who come from good homes
god’ll forgive them i guess but whose side are you on
driving around the old town i remember it all
dropping my lunchbox and tampax all over the hall

(and they said) you are a socialist cokehead we know from your clothes
you are a Satanist worshipper of things evil
think you’re a poet a folksinger poseur nah-oh
a volleyball player you’ve got to be kidding us all

so we hide from the guns on our night reconnaissance
steal flamingos and gnomes from the dark side of the lawn

no-one can stop us the plot is a work of genius
no-one has bought the rights yet but we’re not giving up
every unwanted lawn jockey fits in the script
directed by spielberg and starring the masochist club

mary you look like hell
stuck in that ridiculous shell
give us some light and god’s pure love
we know what you’ve been dreaming of
give us some light and god’s pure love
we know what you’ve been dreaming of
give us some light and god’s pure love
we’re taking you to hollywood

"HOLLLLEEEEEEEEWOOD!!!!"

and we hide from the guns on our night reconnaissance
steal flamingos and gnomes from the dark side of the lawn

one plays a socialist cokehead we dress in my clothes
one plays a Satanist worshipper of thing evil
one plays a poet who starts up a band of his own
one plays a volleyball player with both her wrists broke

and we wear what we want on our night reconnaissance
steal flamingos and gnomes the dark suburban lawns
and we give them good homes give them love they’ve never known
in the loft of the barn in the town where i was born
Track Name: The Mouse and the Model
nothing is certain at this time of day
you could reverberate you could decay
the mouse and the model are laughing at us
we’ll risk it we’re desperate for someone to trust

let’s start a new heart
the new charts are in
we’ll take we’ll break them
and make them give in

by counting your blessings you wind up in debt
it starts with your family and ends in your bed
you jekyll and hyded when you could have let
your guard down your dress up you must be upset

let’s start a new heart
the new charts are in
we’ll take them we’ll break them
and make them give in

it’s dark over here on the flip side of reason
the teaser could be something easy like
“they did it in a book”
you’re a crook
you’re a fake
you’re committed
if you did it say you did it
if you didn’t
suck it up and say you did

let’s start a new heart
the new charts are in
we’ll tax them relax them
and mate them for fun

the vote by a landslide
for jekyll and hyde
mackenzie macavity
bonnie and clyde
Track Name: Ultima Esperanza
downloading doves on your fancy computer
you're shooting for love in the dark
hey foks you've found her now go instant message
her name is a pretty good start

ultima sits in her bedroom in texas and
waits for her hamsters to touch
she lost her legs in a car crash three years ago
she doesn't get around much

but she is hoping someday
somebody will take her away

now that you got her a dress you can send her
a matching attachment and face
slick rhododendrons you make out of paper
with flowers that never lose shape

you have a video camera strapped to
your forehead in case she is true
smiling rewind as we die in slow motion
(as if its not happening to you)

don’t be afraid of the dark ages darling,
you may have to wait but a letter is coming
with mixes of marilyn songs
and pictures she took at the prom
knowing her name is enough:
ultima...

foks trotting globes rotting under my fingertips
tapping for oil in veins
how could you possibly hold it against me
it’s such an unusual name

some one hoping to find
her limbs in an auction online
knowing her name is enough:
ultima esperanza
Track Name: The Gardener
sorry for the setback
i know i let you down
turn back the clocks and step back
and spring might come around

my little misbegotten...
you’re quite a stubborn bud!
if we can’t make you open
we will take it out in blood

we’ll make a man out of you yet!
we will plant brambles in your bed!
just close your eyes and count to ten...
this is as close as you will get...

oh is our little willow weeping?
flutter to your knees
the untilled things before me,
oh the possibilities

thank you for the warning,
but i still see the sun...
a little global warming
never hurt no one…

we’ll make a man out of you yet
a crown of thorns around your head
get off your knees and have a look
this is as good as it will get...

at last my pretty flower
is getting put to use
you’ve always been a failure
but now you’re bearing strange new fruit...

the inside is all wilted
but the rest is fertile, so
i will take the belt from off the hook
and watch the garden grow

we’ll make a man out of you yet
you won’t know what will hit you next
the gardener’s coming to collect
you wanted love?
that’s what you get...

the gardener’s coming to collect
the gardener’s coming to collect
the gardener’s coming to collect
the gardener’s coming to collect
the gardener’s coming to collect
Track Name: Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner
he told me that i knew just what to laugh at
and i wanted to but i just couldn’t ask if he would take it back so i could know for certain
so on the bench i watched his left hand crossing
while doubling entendres with the voicings
he said “oh darling, you’re charming, please don’t find it alarming
if i pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting”

now there there
i’m a friendly man
i joke about sex because it’s funny when you’re frightened

so silently i sat and turned the pages
recalculating our respective ages
over my shoulder he muttered if i get any older
you can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects no I’m kidding

don’t be scared
i’m a friendly man
i joke about death because it's funny when you’re frightened

this is as far as i could get he jabbed a needle in my neck
erasing all the evidence but there were matchsticks in my pants
and if a rock should hit my head and i remember what he did
you’ll be there very first to know
maybe i’ll find out why this damn thing wont stop bleeding

he told me that i showed a great potential
that given i turned heads and pages fame would be a piece of cake but
practice was essential
so like a stupid child i believed it
and golly who would ever had agreed if
i had been schubert or mozart
devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential

don’t be sad i’ll come back again
i joke about trash cause it takes class to be enlightened

so several decades have gone by
i am still sitting by his side
i turn the pages faithfully
he turns his head and smiles at me
and with a wink he said "i doubt
we would be anywhere without
your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"
Track Name: Sorry Bunch
we’re a sorry bunch
the odds of it are such a drag my darling

i could have lost a hand
you should look where you are going guy
i could have lost my life
but i would lose a hundred fights

just as long as you were on my side
just as long as you were on my side
just as long as you were on my side
just as long as you were on my side

we’re a sorry bunch
the odds of it are such a bummer darling

so you were lost in thought
it won’t help now to say you’re sorry
cause they could’ve knocked us off
but i would skip a hundred parties

just as long as you were invited
just as long as nobody knew
just as long as you were invited
just as long as nobody knew that we were high
(here's to alcohol
here's to all of y'all
here's to all of the things that we take when we want to think like no-one's listening)

just as long as long as you were on my side...
Track Name: The Kill
i am an anarchist
an antichrist
an asterisk
i am an anorak
an acolyte
an accidental
i am eleven feet
okay, eight...
six foot three...
i fought the British and I won
i have a rocket ship
a jet fighter
a paper airplane
ja ja ja ja ja

say what you will: i am the kill
the only thing that keeps you really truly safe from being real

i have a tendency
to exaggerate
just a little bit
i am a plagiarist
apologist
a walruscokeheadlizard
i am an optimist
a closeted misogynist
i fought the british and i won
i have a wishing well a living will a magical eight ball
ja ja ja ja ja

say what you will - i am the kill
the only thing that keeps you really truly safe from being real

put pat sajak back in office
put pat sajak back in office!!!

but the sun still sets on you
and the retarded party nobody came to but you
and so you drink to all the emptiness until you wake up
and there’s hell to pay again

and the punch lines point at you
and all the comebacks in the world are in your head
and you can’t say them until everybody leaves
and it’s just you and your imaginary friends…
Track Name: The Sheep Song
wash up
bowl of mush
look i made america
hush hush
don’t don’t rush
time for quiet
time to brush

brown wine
turpentine
EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE
sleep now
never fear
all your animals are here

counting sheep
i lay me down to sleep
but i see a sheep that will not leave
from the back they catch him in a trap
hit his head and send him off to bed

cutting by numbers is kinder
invest in the one with the silencer
all of the studies say if they’re
calm when they die then they taste better

cutting by numbers is kinder
invest in the one with the silencer
all of the studies say if they’re
calm when they die then they taste better

goodbye
olive sky
i am crying all the time
there there
don’t despair
we will find your sheep somewhere…
Track Name: Boston
all the cities in the world
and so very little time and
so many different girls...
all you have to do is find them
there’s a wealth of opportunity you plan your trips accordingly
a pity but the pretty ones are usually more touristy
say how’d you like to run away from these machines?
everywhere the spies are printing out our dreams
seven stops in seven different countries
seven page itineraries memories thick as bloody mary jesus joseph bloody hell

right now we're here in boston
in love with downtown crossing
new york will still be there in the morning
come back to bed my darling

i had julian and steve
you had julia and jeanette
you wear your terror on your sleeve for all the men i haven’t met (yet)
i had oliver in potsdam you had elanor in amsterdam
we’re keeping track so carefully we’ve missed the state we’re in completely
honestly your foot is out the door and i’ve got scores of offers elsewhere and keep both feet planted firmly in the air
and tomorrow you can totally erase me from your mind but trust me everything is fine
because
right now we’re here in boston
in my apartment in the south end
forget your friends in london
come back to bed my darling

you can put the details in a letter
the more embarrassing the better
right now i can be happy if i choose to
i know that in the morning i will lose you....

and maybe you’ll be mad
and maybe i’ll be gray
before we really understand or maybe it wont matter anyway
we’ll find out that your mom was right and you’ll admit you’re really gay
and maybe we’ll wake up
in a city far away
or maybe we’ll make up
and buy a house and have a dozen kids who’ll move away it doesn’t matter anyway
right now we’re here in boston
N I M B F R T O feeling
don’t worry who these jokes will all be lost on
come back to bed my darling
there is nothing in the world that we can count on
even that we will wake up is an assumption
but i know for a fact that i loved someone
and for about a year he lived in boston...
Track Name: A Night At The Roses
you should see yourself
when will you give up
every knob you twist on that machine is like a crutch

but i was just the fool
you'd been waiting for
who says we can't touch
ourselves to keep from getting bored?
nothing else is touching thats for sure

a ring around the roses

i will watch you play
i come here every night
it's just me the bartender the waitress and the lights
no one cares if you don't get it right
we clap not for you but for our kind

a ring around the roses
everybody poses
threats and then backs down
the second you put clothes on

a ring around the roses
eveybody knows it
i will sing your fears
if you sing my neurosis

you should back out now
not a night too soon
i'll still be here when the last poor soul has left the room
standing round just like a good friend should
smiling as if your songs were good

a ring around the roses
everybody poses
threats and then backs down
the second you put clothes on

a ring around the roses
everybody knows it
i will sing your fears
if you sing my neurosis

and i sat there for hours
waiting on the curb
thinking you might like a present from a pretty girl
a ring of fire around the roses' door
a ring around the waitress from the verse
put it on before you lose your nerve
put your hands together and they'll burst
make a sound that no one's ever heard
and i hope we get what we deserve