Yes, Virginia​.​.​.

by The Dresden Dolls

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about

"Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding..." - Francis P. Church, The New York Sun, 1897

Far more artwork, photos, lyrics & other unsavory items inspired by "Yes, Virginia" are available to download (free) at dresdendolls.com - To place an order for the extremely awesome 300+ page BOOK of artwork, photos, stories, lyrics and SHEET MUSIC (for piano/guitar/vocal) corresponding to this and to "No, Virginia"; and plus more more more....go to www.jsrdirect.com/webstores/afp&dresdendolls/

credits

released 18 April 2006
Vocals, Piano, Mellotron & Organ: Amanda Palmer
Drums, Percussion, Vocals, Bass & Guitar: Brian Viglione

Recorded at Allaire Studios (Shokan, NY) and Camp Street Studios (Cambridge, MA).
Mastered at Sterling Sound (NYC) by George Marino.
All songs written by Amanda Palmer © 2006 Eight Foot Music (ASCAP)

Produced by: Sean Slade, Paul Q. Kolderie & The Dresden Dolls
Mixed by: Paul Q. Kolderie & Adam Taylor
Assistant Engineer at Allaire: Matt Snedecor
"Sing" Choir: Holly Brewer & M@ McNiss
Delilahs: Holly Brewer, Whitney Moses & Mali Sastri

Front cover drawing by Amanda Palmer
Artwork, design & layout by Amanda Palmer and Sarah Gensert & Mark Berger (Madison House Design). Creative Director: Jeff Chenault

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all rights reserved

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feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: Sex Changes
dear mr. and/or mrs. sender-
we're pleased to inform you that your applications been accepted
starting from the time you get this letter
your life will be one never-ending
"hope you're feeling better"
you get your choice of an aesthetic
we'll need to chop your clock off (tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock)
it might not be what you expected
there is no money back once you've been ripped off

today's a very special day
the boys'll murder for it but what will the neighbors say
it leaves you feeling pretty hollow
it might be nice to look at
don't forget you're stuck with it tomorrow (and tomorrow, and tomorrow.....)

you're big enough to stop pretending
you'll start to really show within a week or so
so don't go saying it's just come to your attention
you'll get more than you're asking for without the right protection

today's a very special day
and how you'd love to have a little thing with which to play
but love won't get you very far
today be still your beating heart
you'll have to keep on feeding it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be girls with no warning
girls will be girls will be guys will be boys that don't cry over toys that they use to beat girls they despise by the morning
they always said that sex would change you...

no second thoughts the knife is nearing
you'll never hear the little pitter patter pitter patter
of this little feat of engineering
of course i love you and it's what's inside that matters
but i think the whole charade is ending
it seems to me to be the only way to keep from getting
caught up in a long life of regretting
the doctors said that once you get a taste for it you'll keep on cutting

but while you happen to be here
why don't you whisper all those sweet forevers in my ear
stiff upper lip for all this sorrow
hurry up and stick it in
you never when it will end
tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow...
Track Name: Backstabber
the record goes from blue to gold
so thank you for all your help
i know you want to jump around
but try to contain yourself
you always struck me as the type to take it lightly
but now you're gonna have to shut your mouth and fight me

backstabber

you're all alone you're all over
the popular magazines will never care what do you care
you're down with the japanese
but you've got no right to sit there saying i abuse it
when you only sleep with girls who say they like your music

backstaber....

backstabber! hope grabber!
greedy little fit haver!
god i feel for you fool
shit lover! off-brusher!
jaded bitter joy crusher!
failure has made you so cruel

rotten to the core
rotten to the core

rotten like a crackwhore
begging out the backdoor
show us what you're good for
post it on the noise board
come on join the bloodsport
show us some support
still working at the drugstore
is it because you're
A FUCKING

backstabber! hope grabber!
greedy little fit haver!
god i feel for you fool
shit lover! off-brusher!
jaded bitter joy crusher!
failure has made you so cruel

so don't tell me what to write
and don't tell me that I'm wrong
and don't tell me not to reference my songs within my songs
you backstabber! hope grabber! greedy fucking fit haver!
BACKSTABBER!
Track Name: Modern Moonlight
presenting modern moonlight just as advertised
coke and pepsi finally found a compromise
how can they complain that we're all fucked up kids
when they keep on changing who our mother is?

like it all you want it's fruitless
night is in the way of progress

retinas are bleeding for the enterprise
surgically wired into paradise
yesterday I dropped in at the MKB
everyone was messaging like it was going out of style
(it was just the cynic in me)
god, i love communicating!
i just hate the shit we're missing...

everybody join in the magnificence
yes! everything is absolutely making sense....
every time you turn around your soul gets sold
to the highest bidder
then they turn around and merger and they merger
and they merger and they murder and they murder
the one who murders most will take it all...

fight it all you want it's useless
night is in the way of progress

we're gonna take your critics one by one
catch your cables cut your cords and spoil all your fun
we're gonna make your life a living hell
cause stripped of your equipment you'll be forced to face yourself...

wire cutters of the world
you know what to use it for
spread the word to all the tightrope walker boys and girls
brace yourself for miracles
you're in for a nasty shock
when the war is over
you can read the paper
Track Name: My Alcoholic Friends
i'm counting back
the number of the steps
it took for me to get
back on the wagon of the weekend

i'll use the autotimer to prove that
i'll get home with my imagination
if they find the body in the basement
"in the very house that she was raised in!"

i'm taking down
the number of the times
so when we get the sign
from god i'll be the first to call them

i'm taking back the number of the beast
'cause 6 is not a pretty number
8 or 3 are definitely better
a is for the address on the letter
to my alcholic friends

i'm trying hard
not to be ashamed
not to know the name
of who is waking up beside me
or the date, the season or the city
but at least the ceiling's very pretty
and if you are holding it against me

i'll be on my best behavior
taking shots for mother nature
once my fist is in the cupboard
love is never falling over

should i choose a noble occupation
if i did i'd only show up late and
sick and they would stare at me with hatred
plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends
my alcoholic friends
Track Name: Delilah
there's no end to the love you can give
when you change your point of view to underfoot
very good
you may be flat but you're breathing

and there's no doubt he's at home in his room
probably watching porn of you from the fall
it's last call
and you're the last one leaving

and you thought you could change the world
by opening your legs
well it isn't very hard
try kicking them instead
and you thought you could change his mind
by changing your perfume to the kind his mother wore
o god delilah why?
i never met a more impossible girl....

in this same bar where you slammed down your hand
and said "amanda, i'm in love"
no you're not
you're just a sucker for the ones who use you
and it doesn't matter what i say or do
the stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you...

you're an unrescuable schizo
or else you're on the rag
if you take him back
i'm gonna lose my nerve
i never met a more impossible girl....
i never met a more impossible girl....

at four o'clock he got off
and you called up
"i'm at denny's on route one
and you won't guess what he's done"
is that a fact delilah?
larry tap let you in through the back
and use his calling card again
for a quick hand of gin

you are impossible, delilah: the princess of denial
and after 7 years in advertising you are none the wiser

you're an unrescuable schizo
or else you're on the rag
'cause if you take him back
i'm gonna lose my nerve
he's gonna beat you like a pillow
you schizos never learn
and if you take him home
you'll get what you deserve

so don't cry delilah
you're still alive delilah
you need a ride delilah?
let's see how fast thing can go.....
Track Name: Dirty Business
raise your glass
we have incorporated
place your bets
we're all so sick of waiting
queen takes jack
you got me this time but i'll get you back
so pick a number

to all the ones who tried the most was i supposed to cheer your efforts
sorry that i chose so poorly
golly gee am i the poster girl

she's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
the kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces
she's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining
just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling

lift your hats
off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
they'd make an angel's skin crawl
if you ask them for assistance
there's an even chance
you'll get a number

to all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them
i've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient

to all the ones that hated me the most a toast
you really had me
going for a second i was nervous
boy am i the poster girl

she's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
the kind who tell you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
she's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her

to all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess
who was mine in '99 i want last names and current status
to all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for a second
i was nervous boy am i the poster girl
for some suburban sickness
better keep a healthy distance
now its up to you know what to do
it's pretty dirty business
Track Name: First Orgasm
it is a thursday
i get up early
it is a challenge
i'm usually lazy

i make some coffee
i eat some rice chex
and then i sit down
to check my inbox

i only read a word or two
i stare across the street and see the churches and the blue

the first orgasm of the morning
is cold and hard as hell
there won't be any second coming
as far as i can tell

i arch my back 'cause
i'm very cold now
it's very cold here
by the window

there are some school kids
yelling and running
i barely notice
that i am cumming

the first orgasm of the morning
is like a fire drill
it's nice to have a little warning
but not enjoyable

i am too busy to have friends
a lover would just complicate my plans
so i will never look for love again
i'm taking matters into my own hands

i think i could last at least a weak without someone to hold me
i think i could last at least a weak without someone to hold me
won't you hold me?
Track Name: Mrs. O
oh, mrs. o
will you tell us where the naught children go
will you show
how the sky turned white and everybody froze
heaven knows how they got into the fireplace
but everybody's saying grace
and trying to keep a happy face

and oh, mrs. o
will you teach us how to keep from getting cold
out we go and you watch us as we face the falling snow
what a show with our hairdryers aimed heavenwards
and fifty foot extension cords
you really have a way with words

the truth won't save you now
the sky is falling down
watch the vultures count the hours
april trains may bring strange showers

and oh, mrs. o
will you tell about the time they made you go
all alone to the palace where they took your only clothes
we all know
there's no hell and no hiroshima
chernobyl was a cover up
the world is really all in love

and oh mrs. o
will you leave us hanging now that we are grown
up and old
will you kill me if i say i told you so
we all know
there's no hitler and no holocaust
no winter and no santa clause
and yes, virginia, all because
the truth won't save you now
the sky is falling down
everything they ever told us
shakes our faith and breaks their promise
but you can stop the truth from leaking
if you never stop believing
Track Name: Shores of California
he's been trying with limited success
to get this girl to let him get into her pants
but every time he he's getting close
she threatens death before he gets a chance

and that's the way it is in minnesota
and that's the way it is in oklahoma
that's the way it's been since protozoa
first climbed onto the shores of california

and she's been trying with limited success
to get him to turn out the lights and dance
'cause like any girl all she really wants is
that fickle little bitch romance
that fickle little bitch romance

and that is why a girl is called a tease
and that is why a guy is called a sleeze
and that's why god made escort agencies
one life to live and mace and GHB

and that's the way it is in minnesota
and that's the way it is in oklahoma
that's the way since the animals and noah
first climbed onto the shores of california

must not be too kind
stop thinking love is blind
clench your first yeah write
"she's just not my type..."

why all these conflicting specifications
maybe to prevent overpopulation
all i know is that all around the nation
the girls are crying and the boys are masturbating

and that's the way it is in minnesota
and that's the way it is in oklahoma
that's the way aristophanes and homer
wrote the iliad and lysistrata (not in that order...)

and that's the way it is in minnesota
and that's the way it is in oklahoma
that's the way it's been since protozoa
first climbed onto the shores of california
Track Name: Necessary Evil
let's get lost
fingers crossed
it is an ordinary evening
i am broadcasting are you receiving

sick sick sound
all fall down
it is a necessary evil
just like highway gas stations and people

i remember golden days when all this was a mystery
and you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
and if you find yourself without me
can you find yourself without me
can you find yourself without me
can you find yourself without me

hi i'm fine
you are saying nothing but your tongue is getting blacker all the time
it is a measurable feeling
seven on a scale from dead to breathing
i've connected speakers to my suitors at the discotheques
and they don't know the difference
are they men or are they memorex?
and if you find yourself without me
if you find yourself without me
c'mon find yourself without me
c'mon c'mon c'mon
and take your listerine

i remember golden days when all this was a mystery
and you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
i remember golden days when all this was a mystery
and you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me

and if you find yourself without me
if you find yourself without me
c'mon c'mon c'mon
and take your listerine
Track Name: Mandy Goes to Med School
i've been feeling dull as a coat hanger
pretty as a picture of patient on a fresh iv
giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures where his magic johnson ought to be

yes i'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing
let's start in with a test of your intelligence
and zest for the counter-productive
up and down and roundabout and out the back
and keep your mouth shut tight
the lights are staying out but no sweat i've got aim like a mack truck
guess how many fingers okay guess how many more i can fit there
guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere

yes i can do everything you need from out of my new SUV
all my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery
put away those pliers honey trust me 'cause i know the options
how about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin

i've been getting up close and intimate
some close calls but i'm getting into it
in some states they say you can burn for it
but i'll burn that bridge when i get to it

it's not a bad thing
to get professional
it's got a nice ring
mandy goes to med school

i've been taking tips from the government
i've been getting damn good at hiding it
fifty bucks a month ought to cover it
two down now but who's gonna notice it?
and if you show up and i am unavailable
my partner brian would love to take care of you
he is a nice man
thoroughly reliable
he's in a rock band
and he goes to med school.....
Track Name: Me & the Minibar
bring two prix fixe dinners up
i'll unwrap the plastic cups
it's just us my love
it's just us my love

i will make the room up nice
put your insides all on ice
it was real true love
it was real true love
close all the windows
put signs on the handles
and strip down to my dun-dun-duns
you have gone so far
you have gone so far

and tonight
its just me and the minibar

candles from the walmart that
every city's got to have
that i bought last night
that i bought last night

i was so excited to
do such normal things with you
when you felt last night
with your toothbrush dry

no such details will spoil my plan
that is the kind of girl i am
HA HA HA

can you hear room 318?
man they're really happening
they're a wild bunch
they're a wild bunch

but if they just knew
what my night was coming to
god would they vomit and run
you have gone so far
you have gone too far
so tonight
it's just me and the minibar
nobody else
and i sing at the top of my lungs
happy birthday us
happy birthday us...
Track Name: Two-Headed Boy
two headed boy
all floating in glass
the sun it has passed
now it's blacker than black
i can hear as you tap on your jar
i am listening to hear where you are
i am listening to hear where you are

two headed boy
put on sunday shoes
and dance round the room to accordion keys
with the needle that sings in your heart
catching signals that sound in the dark
catching signals that sound in the dark
we will take off our clothes
and they'll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine
and when all is breaking everything that you could keep inside
now your eyes ain't moving now
they just lay there in their cloud

two headed boy
with pulleys and weights
creating a radio played just for two
in the parlor with a moon across her face
and through the music she sweetly displays
silver speakers that sparkle all day
made for her lover who's floating and choking with his hands across her face
and in the dark we will take off our clothes
and they'll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine
and when all is breaking everything that you could keep inside
now your eyes ain't moving now
they just lay there in their cloud

two headed boy
there is no reason to grieve
the world that you need is wrapped in gold silver sleeves
left beneath christmas trees in the snow
and i will take you and leave you alone
watching spirals of white softly flow
over your eyelids and all you did
will wait until the point where you let go
Track Name: Sing
there is this thing that's like touching except you don't touch
back in the day it just went without saying at all
all the world's history gradually dying of shock
there is this thing that's like talking except you don't talk
you sing
you sing

sing for the bartender sing for the janitor sing
sing for the cameras sing for the animals sing
sing for the children shooting the children sing
sing for the teachers who told you that you couldn't sing
just sing

there is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked
it is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance
after the show you can not sing wherever you want
but for now let's just pretend we're all gonna get bombed
so sing

sing 'cause it's obvious sing for the astronauts sing
sing for the president sing for the terrorists sing
sing for the soccer team sing for the janjaweed sing
sing for the kid with the phone who refuses to sing
just sing

life is no cabaret
we don't care what you say
we're inviting you anyways
you motherfuckers you'll sing someday...