A Is For Accident

by The Dresden Dolls

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Quinn the Eskimo
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Quinn the Eskimo AMANDA. AMANDA AMANDA I love you. Your music is everywhere on the map and all fantastic. This is an early Dolls collectioni (I think) and it's wonderfully raw. Favorite track: Thirty Whacks.
John Cratchley
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John Cratchley 21st Century Brechtian Punk Cabaret is the usual stance on the Dresden Dolls...I don't know if Bert would have seen too much verfremdungseffekt (probably a little too 'showbiz' for him,perhaps) buy I think he would have loved their razor sharp cultural prescience,their black humour and their absolute balls-out work ethic. I think they are quite brilliant and should be force-fed to insipid politicians everywhere.
Jerry Peck
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Jerry Peck Amanda & Brian: Syncopation Geniuses -nuf said.
Zachary
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Zachary This was a gift for someone else
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1.
04:48
missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me if you kiss me, mister i might tell my sister if i tell her, mister she might tell my mother and my mother, mister she might tell my father and my father, mister he won't be too happy and he'll have his lawyer come up from the city and arrest you, mister so i wouldn't miss me if you get me, mister, see? missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me if you kiss me, mister you must think i'm pretty if you think so, mister you must want to fuck me if you fuck me, mister it must mean you love me if you love me mister you would never leave me it's as simple as can be missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me if you miss me, mister why do you keep leaving if you trick me, mister i will make you suffer and they'll get you, mister put you in the slammer and forget you, mister then you'll miss me, won't you? won't you miss me? missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me if you kiss me, mister take responsibility i'm fragile, mister just like any girl would be and so misunderstood (so treat me delicately) MISSED ME MISSED ME now you've gone and done it hope you're happy in the county penitentiary it serves you right for kissing little girls but i'll visit... if you miss me... SAY YOU MISS ME (how's the food they feed you?) do you MISS ME? (will you kiss me through the window?) DO YOU MISS ME? MISS ME? will they ever let you go? i miss my mister so...
2.
coin-operated boy sitting on the shelf he is just a toy but i turn him on and he comes to life automatic joy that is why i want a coin-operated boy made of plastic and elastic he is rugged and long-lasting who could ever, ever ask for more? love without complications galore many shapes and weights to choose from i will never leave my bedroom i will never cry at night again wrap my arms around him and pretend coin-operated boy all the other real ones that i destroy cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll never let him go and i'll never be alone not with my coin-operated boy this bridge was written to make you feel smittener with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer will you extract me from my plastic fantasy i didn't think so but i'm still convincible will you still persist even after i bet you a billion dollars that i'll never love you and will you persist even after i kiss you good-bye for the last time will you keep on trying to prove it i'm dying to lose it i'm losing my confidence i want to i want you i want a coin-operated boy and if i had a star to wish on for my life i can't imagine any flesh and blood would be his match i can even take him in the bath coin-operated boy he may not be real experienced with girls but i know he feels like a boy should feel isn't that the point? that is why i want a coin-operated boy with a pretty coin-operated voice saying that he loves that he's thinking of me straight and to the point that is why i want a coin-operated boy
3.
the time has come to speak of many things of jacks and queens and kings i bared my wrists and promised to begin but you cut the blade straight in the time has come: let's play find the missing song there is something very wrong try hard my love do you hear the distant strings please remember what this means did i come back for all of this? it seems absurd somehow... with one well-placed flick of the wrist you've really done it now... (all of my blind ambition left me deaf with perfect vision) the time has come for things to come undone that we should not have begun at last i felt a numbness overcome and now you turn and run... the time has come to take me in your arms and touch these fragile scars you have the choice now so decide if you want in or out there is too much left for us to try you cant just give up now the time has come to speak of many things of jacks and queens and kings it took that cut to bring me back to life they're bleeding and they're frightened still i hold out both my hands: no one in the world will ever touch me there again.
4.
04:31
oh, mrs. o will you tell us where the naught children go will you show how the sky turned white and everybody froze heaven knows how they got into the fireplace but everybody's saying grace and trying to keep a happy face and oh, mrs. o will you teach us how to keep from getting cold out we go and you watch us as we face the falling snow what a show with our hairdryers aimed heavenwards and fifty foot extension cords you really have a way with words the truth won't save you now the sky is falling down watch the vultures count the hours april trains may bring strange showers and oh, mrs. o will you tell about the time they made you go all alone to the palace where they took your only clothes we all know there's no hell and no hiroshima chernobyl was a cover up the world is really all in love and oh mrs. o will you leave us hanging now that we are grown up and old will you kill me if i say i told you so we all know there's no hitler and no holocaust no winter and no santa clause and yes, virginia, all because the truth won't save you now the sky is falling down everything they ever told us shakes our faith and breaks their promise but you can stop the truth from leaking if you never stop believing
5.
clutching the phone till my hands were sore i never understood pain before, christopher you cannot know what it does to me hearing you speak with this frequency i never knew what one voice could do i was in heaven the moment i heard you my friends go out drinking and having fun - i stay in bed with my headphones on shot down with arrows from waves above christopher lydon renounced my love it took so long to get through to you i never understood sorrow, and now i do i finally got past your monitor, and you broke my heart in two, christopher christopher, i am your listener, christopher, i've never felt love like this before, christopher, christopher, now and forevermore, chrisopher i'll never stop saying christopher, christopher finally i knew what i had to do christopher i had to make the connection with you i don't care that you could be my father, dear chistopher i will be yours til the bitter end........ so during a show about joan of arc i got through - i said: "christopher lydon, you've stolen my heart" when i asked if you felt the same way for me you cut me off like a guillotine drawn like a bull to a matador- i just see visions of chrisopher shot down by arrows from waves above christopher lydon renounced my love christopher, i was your prisoner, christopher, i hope you're happy now christopher thank you for everything but i'm not listening anymore nor do i plan to contribute to NPR christopher what do you take me for i'm not just any old talk show host groupie.... oh christopher...is there a chance for me? christopher...beautiful, beautiful christopher...beautiful, beautiful, beautiful christopher...
6.
no one's asking to go dancing its not like that anymore its romantic if they mean it when they shut your fingers in the door its a gory sort of story that's been told a hundred times before it gets tricky don't be picky if the slipper fits you wear it whore how many tips can i take home tonight without them getting mad how many stitches do you think it takes to fix a cut that bad how many minutes until midnight and you get your eyesight back not to knock it i've been off it never moving very much at once its been awkward i still offer it when its that time of other girls shower but i give out flowers to curious strangers who throw dollars at my feet how many crimes can i try spotting dry before it leaves a stain how many times say that i love you til it doesn't mean a thing how many fittings must i sit through with my big feet blistering how many strips until it hits me and my big mouth strikes again i'm not asking to go dancing i'm not that dumb anymore its exhausting to keep smiling when your toes are bleeding through the floor its a gory sort of story that's been told a million times before don't be sorry just ignore me because honestly i'm too sore from fitting exactly to ride into setting suns aching to stand on my own two feet how many wishes do i still have left to fix the way it ends how many princes will it take to put a girl like this back together again how many instances can you point out where i was less than kind how many happy endings do you need to change your fucking mind and how much time do we have left before it's midnight and you see that i was never the right size?
7.
thirty licks with a belt - playing tricks on myself and i wonder if everyone else is this way a succession of tests a triumphant success each time it's still intact at the end of the day thirty drops in a glass - keep my temper and pass with my breath held you bastards i'll get you! but then - its not really so bad, there's still mom there's still damage to do before they wrest the axe from my heads its no mystery: you should obviously go before i break everything you're always telling me that you're dying to know but you're not really listening how do i manage to station myself in harms way and only get hit with a ticket for loitering that i have no means to pay - and no strength to argue the voices are infesting up through the floorboards and they're murmuring murder me if i could shut them out just for an hour i swear i could stop this catastrophe thirty day guarantee but that can't include me after all i'm at home in this childproof world no sharp corners or glass no small objects or plastic bags please, these are death to a delicate girl its no mystery - you should obviously know that i'll destroy everything so don't keep telling me that you're dying to know cause you'll get what you're asking for how can it be that i still put myself in harms way and only get hit with a ticket for loitering that i have no means to pay - what kind of place is this? now all the voices are screaming this just isnt fair but i've got a fool proof plan if i can get them alone for an hour i swear it'll look like an accident i could be decent yet i'll make up for everything i could be president...
8.
i've tried dolls that were guaranteed sixteen or under none were very exciting sorta like a laugh track or whacking off they'll get you off but it's just not the real thing its been decades since my pit days but i haven't shaken it - i sit there like an idiot still caught up in the old punk protocol and dreaming that the teenagers will think that i'm a radical and i still wait for the bus to come where high school got torn down still expecting to find true love among the skateboarders hanging out in back of the bank in my hometown all this talk and no action's got me stiff from the tit to the bone so i'm living in lala land - but at least im not living at home same old catcall same old chemicals same old thrills stealing stockings from the shopping mall its simple enough to grow the fuck up happy with the rough cut nobody's in the market for a diamond in the rough but i still wait for my mom to come and pick me up at holly's house 10 years after they cashed it in to make a multi-level parking lot for a seven-eleven and burger king i've got cryptographs, i've got all the phones tapped i've got proof enough it is indisputable love's not good enough i want pies and graphs something that will teach me my arithmetic at last... better rope the folks in - i'm on the loose again and getting more ridiculous the more i think i ought to get my mind out of the gutter (it's getting dangerous, amanda, god - you're old enough to be his fucking...) my own private highway from the cradle to the grave i save a bundle skipping middle age and saturdays and i still wait for the cops to come where the station since burned down still convinced that they'll pick me up for all the sins i committed in the back of the banged-up pickup truck i've got autographs, backstage passes and leather jacket back patches up the... ask me anything i've got evidence single serving saccharine packets dripping black with lipstick kisses i still wait for the bus to come back where the high school got torn down still expecting to find true love among the skateboarders hanging out in back of the bank in my home- i'm no pederast it was nice to ask thank you ,but i'm capable of getting up and getting dressed love's not good enough i want photographs something that will stand the test of... time and time again i think ill head downtown again oh god i'm thirty no, i'm ten i'm seventeen and a bank of boston beauty queen...
9.
05:02
i won't try to explain what i cannot understand it's a bird it's a plane it's a one night stand if i only we could ride far enough i'd forget you altogether it's a bluff there is no way i could not remember don't ask me what i came here for it is too delicate for words i used to want to make you talk now i would rather you did not i don't mind if you read while i'm coming it's alright if you need the t.v. to keep from noticing my mind going blank what's the worst thing that could happen? is my back all that bad? strike the match and watch the doll come open don't ask me what i want from you it is not something you could purposely do i used to want to make you mine now i have better things in mind...
10.
08:00
you can have washington i'll take new jersey you can have london but i want new york city i should get providence i've got a job now los angeles - obvious - that's where you belong now you can have africa, asia, australia as long as you keep your hands off café pamplona we can split germany right down the middle you'd hate it there anyway take berlin and we'll call it even you can have all of the carry-on baggage i'll trade the saskia jokes for the alphabet language and special occasions we'll split between parents who forced us to hate them on alternating weekends you call it over and i call you psycho significant other??? just say we were lovers and we'll call it even i am the tower around which you orbited i am not proud i am just taking orders i fall to the ground within hours of impact i hit back when hit and attack when attacked i am the ground zero ex-friend you ordered disguised as a hero to get past your borders i know when i'm wanted i'll leave if you ask me to mind my own business and speak when i'm spoken to you get rt. 2 between concord and lexington i want mass ave from the square to my apartment and if we should meet through some misunderstanding i'll be very sweet very patient and forgiving (now get off my side of the state) and if we should see one another in passing despite these techniques there is sometimes no avoiding (there must be some kind of mistake) we'll raise high the white flags and bow heads and shake hands declaring the land we're on unamerican we'll call it even i am the tower around which you orbited i am not proud i am just taking orders i fall to the ground within hours of impact i hit back when hit and attack when attacked and i am an accident waiting to happen i'm laughing like mad as you strangle the captain my place may be taken but make no mistake from a little black box i can say without shame that you've lost so take whatever you'd like i'll strike like the states on fire you won't sleep very tight no hiding no safe cover make your bed and now lie just like you always do you can fake it for the papers but i'm onto you...

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PROFIT FROM THIS ALBUM WILL GO DIRECTLY TO THE BAND!

Collected live recordings 2001-2003

credits

released October 20, 2009

All songs written/composed by Amanda Palmer

Drums - Brian Viglione
Piano, Organ, Vocals - Amanda Palmer

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