A Is For Accident

by The Dresden Dolls

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Quinn the Eskimo
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Quinn the Eskimo AMANDA. AMANDA AMANDA I love you. Your music is everywhere on the map and all fantastic. This is an early Dolls collectioni (I think) and it's wonderfully raw. Favorite track: Thirty Whacks.
John Cratchley
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John Cratchley 21st Century Brechtian Punk Cabaret is the usual stance on the Dresden Dolls...I don't know if Bert would have seen too much verfremdungseffekt (probably a little too 'showbiz' for him,perhaps) buy I think he would have loved their razor sharp cultural prescience,their black humour and their absolute balls-out work ethic. I think they are quite brilliant and should be force-fed to insipid politicians everywhere.
Jerry Peck
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Jerry Peck Amanda & Brian: Syncopation Geniuses -nuf said.
Zachary thumbnail
Zachary This was a gift for someone else
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Collected live recordings 2001-2003


released October 20, 2009

All songs written/composed by Amanda Palmer

Drums - Brian Viglione
Piano, Organ, Vocals - Amanda Palmer


all rights reserved


Track Name: Missed Me
missed me
missed me
now you gotta kiss me
if you kiss me, mister
i might tell my sister
if i tell her, mister
she might tell my mother
and my mother, mister
she might tell my father
and my father, mister
he won't be too happy
and he'll have his lawyer
come up from the city
and arrest you, mister
so i wouldn't miss me
if you get me, mister, see?

missed me
missed me
now you gotta kiss me
if you kiss me, mister
you must think i'm pretty
if you think so, mister
you must want to fuck me
if you fuck me, mister
it must mean you love me

if you love me mister
you would never leave me
it's as simple as can be

missed me
missed me
now you gotta kiss me
if you miss me, mister
why do you keep leaving
if you trick me, mister
i will make you suffer
and they'll get you, mister
put you in the slammer
and forget you, mister
then you'll miss me, won't you?
won't you miss me?

missed me
missed me
now you gotta kiss me
if you kiss me, mister
take responsibility
i'm fragile, mister
just like any girl would be
and so misunderstood
(so treat me delicately)

now you've gone and done it
hope you're happy
in the county penitentiary
it serves you right
for kissing little girls
but i'll visit...
if you miss me...

(how's the food they feed you?)
do you
(will you kiss me through the window?)
will they ever let you go?
i miss my mister so...
Track Name: Coin-Operated Boy
coin-operated boy
sitting on the shelf
he is just a toy
but i turn him on
and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a
coin-operated boy

made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever, ever ask for more?
love without complications galore

many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend

coin-operated boy
all the other real
ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle
to my new boy and i'll
never let him go
and i'll never be alone
not with my
coin-operated boy

this bridge was written
to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture
of girl getting bitterer
will you extract me
from my plastic fantasy
i didn't think so
but i'm still convincible
will you still persist
even after i bet you
a billion dollars
that i'll never love you
and will you persist
even after i kiss you
good-bye for the last time
will you keep on trying
to prove it
i'm dying

to lose it
i'm losing
my confidence
i want to
i want you
i want a
coin-operated boy

and if i had a star to wish on
for my life i can't imagine
any flesh and blood would be his match
i can even take him in the bath

coin-operated boy
he may not be real
experienced with girls
but i know he feels
like a boy should feel
isn't that the point?
that is why i want a
coin-operated boy
with a pretty
coin-operated voice
saying that he loves
that he's thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want a
coin-operated boy
Track Name: The Time Has Come
the time has come to speak of many things
of jacks and queens and kings

i bared my wrists and promised to begin
but you cut the blade straight in

the time has come: let's play find the missing song
there is something very wrong

try hard my love do you hear the distant strings
please remember what this means

did i come back for all of this?
it seems absurd somehow...
with one well-placed flick of the wrist
you've really done it now...

(all of my blind ambition left me deaf with perfect vision)

the time has come
for things to come undone
that we should not have begun

at last i felt a numbness overcome
and now you turn and run...

the time has come
to take me in your arms and touch these fragile scars

you have the choice now so decide
if you want in or out
there is too much left for us to try
you cant just give up now

the time has come
to speak of many things
of jacks and queens and kings

it took that cut to bring me back to life
they're bleeding and they're frightened still i hold out both my hands:
no one in the world will ever touch me there again.
Track Name: Mrs. O
oh, mrs. o
will you tell us where the naught children go
will you show
how the sky turned white and everybody froze
heaven knows how they got into the fireplace
but everybody's saying grace
and trying to keep a happy face

and oh, mrs. o
will you teach us how to keep from getting cold
out we go and you watch us as we face the falling snow
what a show with our hairdryers aimed heavenwards
and fifty foot extension cords
you really have a way with words

the truth won't save you now
the sky is falling down
watch the vultures count the hours
april trains may bring strange showers

and oh, mrs. o
will you tell about the time they made you go
all alone to the palace where they took your only clothes
we all know
there's no hell and no hiroshima
chernobyl was a cover up
the world is really all in love

and oh mrs. o
will you leave us hanging now that we are grown
up and old
will you kill me if i say i told you so
we all know
there's no hitler and no holocaust
no winter and no santa clause
and yes, virginia, all because
the truth won't save you now
the sky is falling down
everything they ever told us
shakes our faith and breaks their promise
but you can stop the truth from leaking
if you never stop believing
Track Name: Christopher Lydon
clutching the phone till my hands were sore
i never understood pain before, christopher
you cannot know what it does to me
hearing you speak with this frequency

i never knew what one voice could do
i was in heaven the moment i heard you
my friends go out drinking and having fun -
i stay in bed with my headphones on

shot down with arrows from waves above
christopher lydon renounced my love

it took so long to get through to you
i never understood sorrow, and now i do
i finally got past your monitor,
and you broke my heart in two, christopher

christopher, i am your listener, christopher,
i've never felt love like this before, christopher,
christopher, now and forevermore, chrisopher
i'll never stop saying christopher, christopher

finally i knew what i had to do
christopher i had to make the connection with you
i don't care that you could be my father, dear chistopher
i will be yours til the bitter end........

so during a show about joan of arc
i got through - i said:
"christopher lydon, you've stolen my heart"
when i asked if you felt the same way for me
you cut me off like a guillotine

drawn like a bull to a matador-
i just see visions of chrisopher
shot down by arrows from waves above
christopher lydon renounced my love

christopher, i was your prisoner, christopher,
i hope you're happy now christopher
thank you for everything but i'm not listening anymore nor do i plan to contribute to NPR
christopher what do you take me for i'm not just any old talk show host groupie....
oh christopher...is there a chance for me?
christopher...beautiful, beautiful christopher...beautiful, beautiful, beautiful christopher...
Track Name: Glass Slipper
no one's asking to go dancing its not like that anymore
its romantic if they mean it when they shut your fingers in the door
its a gory sort of story that's been told a hundred times before
it gets tricky don't be picky if the slipper fits you wear it whore

how many tips can i take home tonight without them getting mad
how many stitches do you think it takes to fix a cut that bad
how many minutes until midnight and you get your eyesight back

not to knock it i've been off it never moving very much at once
its been awkward i still offer it when its that time of
other girls shower but i give out flowers
to curious strangers who throw dollars at my feet

how many crimes can i try spotting dry before it leaves a stain
how many times say that i love you til it doesn't mean a thing
how many fittings must i sit through with my big feet blistering
how many strips until it hits me and my big mouth strikes again

i'm not asking to go dancing i'm not that dumb anymore
its exhausting to keep smiling when your toes are bleeding through the floor
its a gory sort of story that's been told a million times before
don't be sorry just ignore me because honestly
i'm too sore from fitting exactly to ride into setting suns aching to
stand on my own two feet

how many wishes do i still have left to fix the way it ends
how many princes will it take to put a girl like this back together again
how many instances can you point out where i was less than kind
how many happy endings do you need to change your fucking mind
and how much time do we have left before it's midnight and
you see that i was never the right size?
Track Name: Thirty Whacks
thirty licks with a belt - playing tricks on myself
and i wonder if everyone else is this way
a succession of tests a triumphant success
each time it's still intact at the end of the day

thirty drops in a glass - keep my temper and pass
with my breath held you bastards i'll get you! but then -
its not really so bad, there's still mom there's still
damage to do before they wrest the axe from my heads

its no mystery: you should obviously go
before i break everything
you're always telling me that you're dying to know
but you're not really listening

how do i manage to station myself in harms way
and only get hit with a ticket for loitering
that i have no means to pay - and no strength to argue
the voices are infesting up through the floorboards and they're
murmuring murder me
if i could shut them out just for an hour i swear
i could stop this catastrophe

thirty day guarantee
but that can't include me
after all i'm at home in this childproof world
no sharp corners or glass
no small objects or plastic bags
please, these are death to a delicate girl

its no mystery - you should obviously know
that i'll destroy everything
so don't keep telling me that you're dying to know
cause you'll get what you're asking for

how can it be that i still put myself in harms way
and only get hit with a ticket for loitering
that i have no means to pay - what kind of place is this?
now all the voices are screaming this just isnt fair
but i've got a fool proof plan
if i can get them alone for an hour i swear
it'll look like an accident
i could be decent yet
i'll make up for everything
i could be president...
Track Name: Bank of Boston Beauty Queen
i've tried dolls that were guaranteed sixteen or under none were very exciting
sorta like a laugh track or whacking off they'll get you off but it's just not the real thing
its been decades since my pit days
but i haven't shaken it - i sit there like an idiot
still caught up in the old punk protocol
and dreaming that the teenagers will think that i'm a radical

and i still wait for the bus to come where high school got torn down
still expecting to find true love among the skateboarders hanging out
in back of the bank in my hometown

all this talk and no action's got me stiff from the tit to the bone
so i'm living in lala land - but at least im not living at home
same old catcall same old chemicals
same old thrills stealing stockings from the shopping mall
its simple enough to grow the fuck up happy with the rough cut
nobody's in the market for a diamond in the rough but

i still wait for my mom to come and pick me up at holly's house
10 years after they cashed it in to make a multi-level parking lot for a seven-eleven and burger king

i've got cryptographs, i've got all the phones tapped
i've got proof enough it is indisputable
love's not good enough i want pies and graphs
something that will teach me my arithmetic at last...

better rope the folks in - i'm on the loose again
and getting more ridiculous the more i think i ought to get my mind out of the gutter
(it's getting dangerous, amanda, god - you're old enough to be his fucking...)
my own private highway from the cradle to the grave
i save a bundle skipping middle age and saturdays

and i still wait for the cops to come where the station since burned down
still convinced that they'll pick me up for all the sins i committed in the back of the banged-up pickup truck

i've got autographs, backstage passes and leather jacket back patches up the...
ask me anything i've got evidence
single serving saccharine packets dripping black with lipstick kisses

i still wait for the bus to come back where the high school got torn down
still expecting to find true love among the skateboarders hanging out
in back of the bank in my home-

i'm no pederast it was nice to ask
thank you ,but i'm capable of getting up and getting dressed
love's not good enough i want photographs
something that will stand the test of...
time and time again
i think ill head downtown again
oh god
i'm thirty
no, i'm ten
i'm seventeen
and a bank of boston beauty queen...
Track Name: Will
i won't try to explain what i cannot understand
it's a bird it's a plane it's a one night stand
if i only we could ride far enough
i'd forget you altogether
it's a bluff
there is no way i could not remember

don't ask me what i came here for
it is too delicate for words
i used to want to make you talk
now i would rather you did not

i don't mind if you read while i'm coming
it's alright if you need the t.v.
to keep from noticing my mind going blank
what's the worst thing that could happen?
is my back all that bad?
strike the match and watch the doll come open

don't ask me what i want from you
it is not something you could purposely do
i used to want to make you mine
now i have better things in mind...
Track Name: Truce
you can have washington
i'll take new jersey
you can have london
but i want new york city

i should get providence
i've got a job now
los angeles - obvious -
that's where you belong now

you can have africa,
asia, australia
as long as you keep your hands
café pamplona

we can split germany
right down the middle
you'd hate it there anyway
take berlin and
we'll call it even

you can have all of
the carry-on baggage
i'll trade the saskia jokes
for the alphabet language

and special occasions
we'll split between parents
who forced us to hate them
on alternating weekends

you call it over
and i call you psycho
significant other???
just say we were lovers
and we'll call it even

i am the tower
around which you orbited
i am not proud
i am just taking orders
i fall to the ground
within hours of impact
i hit back when hit
and attack when attacked

i am the ground zero
ex-friend you ordered
disguised as a hero to
get past your borders
i know when i'm wanted
i'll leave if you ask me to
mind my own business
and speak when i'm spoken to

you get rt. 2 between
concord and lexington
i want mass ave
from the square
to my apartment

and if we should meet
through some misunderstanding
i'll be very sweet
very patient and forgiving
(now get off my side of the state)

and if we should see
one another in passing
despite these techniques
there is sometimes
no avoiding
(there must be some kind of mistake)

we'll raise high the white flags
and bow heads and shake hands
declaring the land we're on
we'll call it even

i am the tower
around which you orbited
i am not proud
i am just taking orders
i fall to the ground
within hours of impact
i hit back when hit
and attack when attacked
and i am an accident
waiting to happen
i'm laughing like mad
as you strangle the captain
my place may be taken
but make no mistake
from a little black box
i can say without shame
that you've lost

take whatever you'd like
i'll strike like the states on fire
you won't sleep very tight
no hiding
no safe cover
make your bed and now lie
just like you always do
you can fake it for the papers
i'm onto you...

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