No, Virginia​.​.​.

by The Dresden Dolls

/
1.
03:07
boys wear overcoats in heat like this to keep themselves from showing girls fill out prescriptions for the tricks that keep their hearts from growing specialists review the year in tears and call for drastic measures send them to resorts for boys and girl to get their wits together sad but true the facts of life are bound to get you down so whats the use dear jenny anyway the world is pretty... ashley talks to astronauts back home by way of fax transmission andy gets a new tattoo each time his pastor comes to visit weary o so drearily we wave our flags into the camera amber goes the hotlines are friends but no-one ever answers sad but true the truth can turn your smile to a frown so whats the use dear jenny anyway the world is pretty upside-down... the rates are better in the summer looks like dear jenny’s doing better... back at home the broadcast warning bounces off of an empty table jenny asks the astronauts to sleep with her behind the stable christmas hasn’t been the same since dad put in the central heating checks you before bedtime with a battery to keep your new heart beating and the world might turn a million times around before they tell you jenny anyway the world is pretty world is pretty happy world is pretty happy sometimes they let strangers in and other times they check their records when they check out in the morning dad puts out the lie detectors jenny prays to gods she’s never heard of for a special hurting all the walls stay dead as jenny's head is but shes still observing sad but true the two of us might really make it through but whats the use dear jenny anyway the world is happy world is happy world is happy without you... the rates are better in the summer.... looks like old jenny's doing better...
2.
nothing is crueler than children who come from good homes god’ll forgive them i guess but whose side are you on driving around the old town i remember it all dropping my lunchbox and tampax all over the hall (and they said) you are a socialist cokehead we know from your clothes you are a Satanist worshipper of things evil think you’re a poet a folksinger poseur nah-oh a volleyball player you’ve got to be kidding us all so we hide from the guns on our night reconnaissance steal flamingos and gnomes from the dark side of the lawn no-one can stop us the plot is a work of genius no-one has bought the rights yet but we’re not giving up every unwanted lawn jockey fits in the script directed by spielberg and starring the masochist club mary you look like hell stuck in that ridiculous shell give us some light and god’s pure love we know what you’ve been dreaming of give us some light and god’s pure love we know what you’ve been dreaming of give us some light and god’s pure love we’re taking you to hollywood "HOLLLLEEEEEEEEWOOD!!!!" and we hide from the guns on our night reconnaissance steal flamingos and gnomes from the dark side of the lawn one plays a socialist cokehead we dress in my clothes one plays a Satanist worshipper of thing evil one plays a poet who starts up a band of his own one plays a volleyball player with both her wrists broke and we wear what we want on our night reconnaissance steal flamingos and gnomes the dark suburban lawns and we give them good homes give them love they’ve never known in the loft of the barn in the town where i was born
3.
nothing is certain at this time of day you could reverberate you could decay the mouse and the model are laughing at us we’ll risk it we’re desperate for someone to trust let’s start a new heart the new charts are in we’ll take we’ll break them and make them give in by counting your blessings you wind up in debt it starts with your family and ends in your bed you jekyll and hyded when you could have let your guard down your dress up you must be upset let’s start a new heart the new charts are in we’ll take them we’ll break them and make them give in it’s dark over here on the flip side of reason the teaser could be something easy like “they did it in a book” you’re a crook you’re a fake you’re committed if you did it say you did it if you didn’t suck it up and say you did let’s start a new heart the new charts are in we’ll tax them relax them and mate them for fun the vote by a landslide for jekyll and hyde mackenzie macavity bonnie and clyde
4.
downloading doves on your fancy computer you're shooting for love in the dark hey foks you've found her now go instant message her name is a pretty good start ultima sits in her bedroom in texas and waits for her hamsters to touch she lost her legs in a car crash three years ago she doesn't get around much but she is hoping someday somebody will take her away now that you got her a dress you can send her a matching attachment and face slick rhododendrons you make out of paper with flowers that never lose shape you have a video camera strapped to your forehead in case she is true smiling rewind as we die in slow motion (as if its not happening to you) don’t be afraid of the dark ages darling, you may have to wait but a letter is coming with mixes of marilyn songs and pictures she took at the prom knowing her name is enough: ultima... foks trotting globes rotting under my fingertips tapping for oil in veins how could you possibly hold it against me it’s such an unusual name some one hoping to find her limbs in an auction online knowing her name is enough: ultima esperanza
5.
05:08
sorry for the setback i know i let you down turn back the clocks and step back and spring might come around my little misbegotten... you’re quite a stubborn bud! if we can’t make you open we will take it out in blood we’ll make a man out of you yet! we will plant brambles in your bed! just close your eyes and count to ten... this is as close as you will get... oh is our little willow weeping? flutter to your knees the untilled things before me, oh the possibilities thank you for the warning, but i still see the sun... a little global warming never hurt no one… we’ll make a man out of you yet a crown of thorns around your head get off your knees and have a look this is as good as it will get... at last my pretty flower is getting put to use you’ve always been a failure but now you’re bearing strange new fruit... the inside is all wilted but the rest is fertile, so i will take the belt from off the hook and watch the garden grow we’ll make a man out of you yet you won’t know what will hit you next the gardener’s coming to collect you wanted love? that’s what you get... the gardener’s coming to collect the gardener’s coming to collect the gardener’s coming to collect the gardener’s coming to collect the gardener’s coming to collect
6.
he told me that i knew just what to laugh at and i wanted to but i just couldn’t ask if he would take it back so i could know for certain so on the bench i watched his left hand crossing while doubling entendres with the voicings he said “oh darling, you’re charming, please don’t find it alarming if i pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting” now there there i’m a friendly man i joke about sex because it’s funny when you’re frightened so silently i sat and turned the pages recalculating our respective ages over my shoulder he muttered if i get any older you can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects no I’m kidding don’t be scared i’m a friendly man i joke about death because it's funny when you’re frightened this is as far as i could get he jabbed a needle in my neck erasing all the evidence but there were matchsticks in my pants and if a rock should hit my head and i remember what he did you’ll be there very first to know maybe i’ll find out why this damn thing wont stop bleeding he told me that i showed a great potential that given i turned heads and pages fame would be a piece of cake but practice was essential so like a stupid child i believed it and golly who would ever had agreed if i had been schubert or mozart devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential don’t be sad i’ll come back again i joke about trash cause it takes class to be enlightened so several decades have gone by i am still sitting by his side i turn the pages faithfully he turns his head and smiles at me and with a wink he said "i doubt we would be anywhere without your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"
7.
03:09
we’re a sorry bunch the odds of it are such a drag my darling i could have lost a hand you should look where you are going guy i could have lost my life but i would lose a hundred fights just as long as you were on my side just as long as you were on my side just as long as you were on my side just as long as you were on my side we’re a sorry bunch the odds of it are such a bummer darling so you were lost in thought it won’t help now to say you’re sorry cause they could’ve knocked us off but i would skip a hundred parties just as long as you were invited just as long as nobody knew just as long as you were invited just as long as nobody knew that we were high (here's to alcohol here's to all of y'all here's to all of the things that we take when we want to think like no-one's listening) just as long as long as you were on my side...
8.
9.
03:49
i am an anarchist an antichrist an asterisk i am an anorak an acolyte an accidental i am eleven feet okay, eight... six foot three... i fought the British and I won i have a rocket ship a jet fighter a paper airplane ja ja ja ja ja say what you will: i am the kill the only thing that keeps you really truly safe from being real i have a tendency to exaggerate just a little bit i am a plagiarist apologist a walruscokeheadlizard i am an optimist a closeted misogynist i fought the british and i won i have a wishing well a living will a magical eight ball ja ja ja ja ja say what you will - i am the kill the only thing that keeps you really truly safe from being real put pat sajak back in office put pat sajak back in office!!! but the sun still sets on you and the retarded party nobody came to but you and so you drink to all the emptiness until you wake up and there’s hell to pay again and the punch lines point at you and all the comebacks in the world are in your head and you can’t say them until everybody leaves and it’s just you and your imaginary friends…
10.
wash up bowl of mush look i made america hush hush don’t don’t rush time for quiet time to brush brown wine turpentine EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE sleep now never fear all your animals are here counting sheep i lay me down to sleep but i see a sheep that will not leave from the back they catch him in a trap hit his head and send him off to bed cutting by numbers is kinder invest in the one with the silencer all of the studies say if they’re calm when they die then they taste better cutting by numbers is kinder invest in the one with the silencer all of the studies say if they’re calm when they die then they taste better goodbye olive sky i am crying all the time there there don’t despair we will find your sheep somewhere…
11.
07:20
all the cities in the world and so very little time and so many different girls... all you have to do is find them there’s a wealth of opportunity you plan your trips accordingly a pity but the pretty ones are usually more touristy say how’d you like to run away from these machines? everywhere the spies are printing out our dreams seven stops in seven different countries seven page itineraries memories thick as bloody mary jesus joseph bloody hell right now we're here in boston in love with downtown crossing new york will still be there in the morning come back to bed my darling i had julian and steve you had julia and jeanette you wear your terror on your sleeve for all the men i haven’t met (yet) i had oliver in potsdam you had elanor in amsterdam we’re keeping track so carefully we’ve missed the state we’re in completely honestly your foot is out the door and i’ve got scores of offers elsewhere and keep both feet planted firmly in the air and tomorrow you can totally erase me from your mind but trust me everything is fine because right now we’re here in boston in my apartment in the south end forget your friends in london come back to bed my darling you can put the details in a letter the more embarrassing the better right now i can be happy if i choose to i know that in the morning i will lose you.... and maybe you’ll be mad and maybe i’ll be gray before we really understand or maybe it wont matter anyway we’ll find out that your mom was right and you’ll admit you’re really gay and maybe we’ll wake up in a city far away or maybe we’ll make up and buy a house and have a dozen kids who’ll move away it doesn’t matter anyway right now we’re here in boston N I M B F R T O feeling don’t worry who these jokes will all be lost on come back to bed my darling there is nothing in the world that we can count on even that we will wake up is an assumption but i know for a fact that i loved someone and for about a year he lived in boston...
12.
you should see yourself when will you give up every knob you twist on that machine is like a crutch but i was just the fool you'd been waiting for who says we can't touch ourselves to keep from getting bored? nothing else is touching thats for sure a ring around the roses i will watch you play i come here every night it's just me the bartender the waitress and the lights no one cares if you don't get it right we clap not for you but for our kind a ring around the roses everybody poses threats and then backs down the second you put clothes on a ring around the roses eveybody knows it i will sing your fears if you sing my neurosis you should back out now not a night too soon i'll still be here when the last poor soul has left the room standing round just like a good friend should smiling as if your songs were good a ring around the roses everybody poses threats and then backs down the second you put clothes on a ring around the roses everybody knows it i will sing your fears if you sing my neurosis and i sat there for hours waiting on the curb thinking you might like a present from a pretty girl a ring of fire around the roses' door a ring around the waitress from the verse put it on before you lose your nerve put your hands together and they'll burst make a sound that no one's ever heard and i hope we get what we deserve

about

A collection of unheard treasures from the vault of The Punk Cabaret taken from the "Yes, Virginia" sessions & featuring new songs from the winter '08 sessions.

To place an order for the extremely awesome 300+ page BOOK of artwork, photos, stories, lyrics and SHEET MUSIC (for piano/guitar/vocal) corresponding to this and to "Yes, Virginia"; and plus more more more....go to www.jsrdirect.com/webstores/afp&dresdendolls/

credits

released May 20, 2008

Vocals, Piano, Keyboard, Organ: Amanda Palmer
Drums, Vocals, Electric Bass, Percussion: Brian Viglione

Mastered at Sterling Sound (NYC) by George Marino.
All songs written by Amanda Palmer (except "Pretty In Pink"*).

Tracks 1, 2, 4, 7, and 10:
Produced & Mixed by Sean Slade
Engineered by Benny Grotto
Recorded at Mad Oak Studios (Allston, MA)

Tracks 3 and 8:
Produced by Sean Slade & The Dresden Dolls
Engineered by Adam Taylor. Recorded at Camp Street Studios (Cambridge, MA).
"Pretty In Pink" mixed by Adam Taylor. "The Mouse and the Model" mixed by Sean Slade.

Tracks 5, 6, 9, and 11:
Produced by Sean Slade, Paul Q. Kolderie & The Dresden Dolls
Mixed by Paul Q. Kolderie, except "Boston" Mixed by Adam Taylor, Engineered by Paul Q. Kolderie & Adam Taylor, Recorded at Allaire Studios (Shokan, NY) and Camp Street Studios (Cambridge, MA)

Front cover image by Amanda Palmer
Creative Director/Design: Charles Dooher
All songs published by Eight Foot Music (ASCAP), except "Pretty In Pink" [published by EMI Blackwood Music Inc. o/b/o BMI Songs LTD (BMI)]
* "Pretty In Pink" written by John Ashton, Richard Butler, Timothy Butler, Vincent Davey, Duncan Kilburn & Roger Morris. All Songs (P) 2008 The All Blacks B.V., except "Pretty In Pink" (P) 2005 The All Blacks B.V.

Sean Slade plays Mellotron on track 4 and organ on track 10
Greg Disterhoft (electric guitar) and Jim Smith (bass) appear on track 3
Amanda presses keys and Brian blows air into the melodica on track 8

license

all rights reserved

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