The Dresden Dolls

by The Dresden Dolls

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1.
05:53
so you don't want to hear about my good song? and you don't want to hear about how i am getting on with all the things that i can get done the sun is in the sky & i am by my lonesome so you don't want to hear about my good day? you have better things to do than hear me say: god it's been a lovely day everything is going my way i took out the trash today and I'M ON FIRE so you don't want to hear about my good friends? you don't have the guts to take the truth or consequence success is in the eye of the beholder and it's looking even better over your cold shoulder i'm not suggesting you up and line me up for questioning but jesus think about the bridges you are burning and i'm betting that even though you knew it from the start you'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart so go ahead and talk about your bad day i want all the details of the pain and misery that you are inflicting on the others i consider them my sisters & i want their numbers god it's been a lovely day everything's been going my way i took up croquet today and I'M ON FIRE i picked up the pieces of my broken ego i have finally made my peace as far as you and me go but i'd love to have you up to see the place i'd like to do more than survive: i'd like to rub it in your face hey it's been a lovely day everything is going my way i had so much fun today and I'M ON FIRE god it's been a lovely day everything's been going my way ever since you went away hey I'M ON FIRE
2.
you can tell by the scars on my arms and the cracks in my hips and the dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that i'm the carefullest of girls you can tell from the glass on the floor and the strings that are breaking and i keep on breaking more and it looks like i am shaking but it's just the temperature but then again if it were any colder i could disengage if i were any older i would act my age but i don't think you'd believe me it's not the way I'm meant to be it's just the way the operation made me and you can tell from the state of my room that they let me out too soon and the pills that i ate came a couple weeks too late and i've got some issues to work through there i go again pretending to be you make believing that i have a soul beneath the surface trying to convince you it was accidentally on purpose i am not so serious this passion is a plagiarism i might join your century but only on a rare occasion i was taken out before the labor pains set in and now behold the world's worst accident: I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM and you can tell by the red in my eyes and the bruises on my thighs and the knots in my hair and the bathroom full of flies that i'm not right now at all there i go again pretending that i'll fall don't call the doctors cause they've seen it all before they'll say: "just let her crash and burn she'll learn the attention just encourages her" and you can tell from the full-body cast that you're sorry that you asked though you did everything you could like any decent person would but i might be catching so don't touch you'll start believing you're immune to gravity and stuff don't get me wet because the bandages will all come off and you can tell from the smoke at the stake that the current state is critical well it is the little things for instance: in the time it takes to break it she could make up ten excuses "please excuse her for the day it's just the way the medication makes her" i don't necessarily believe there is a cure for this so i might join your century but only as a doubtful guest i was too precarious removed as a caesarian behold the world's worst accident: I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM
3.
04:53
missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me if you kiss me, mister i might tell my sister if i tell her, mister she might tell my mother and my mother, mister she might tell my father and my father, mister he won't be too happy and he'll have his lawyer come up from the city and arrest you, mister so i wouldn't miss me if you get me, mister, see? missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me if you kiss me, mister you must think i'm pretty if you think so, mister you must want to fuck me if you fuck me, mister it must mean you love me if you love me mister you would never leave me it's as simple as can be missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me if you miss me, mister why do you keep leaving if you trick me, mister i will make you suffer and they'll get you, mister put you in the slammer and forget you, mister then you'll miss me, won't you? won't you miss me? missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me if you kiss me, mister take responsibility i'm fragile, mister just like any girl would be and so misunderstood (so treat me delicately) MISSED ME MISSED ME now you've gone and done it hope you're happy in the county penitentiary it serves you right for kissing little girls but i'll visit... if you miss me... SAY YOU MISS ME (how's the food they feed you?) do you MISS ME? (will you kiss me through the window?) DO YOU MISS ME? MISS ME? will they ever let you go? i miss my mister so...
4.
05:57
half underwater i'm half my mother's daughter a fraction's left up to dispute the whole collection half-off the price they're asking in the halfway house of ill repute half accidental half pain half instrumental i have a lot to think about you think they're joking you have to go provoke him i guess it's high time you found out it's half biology and half corrective surgery gone wrong you'll notice something funny if you hang around here for too long long ago long ago long ago in some black hole before they had these pills to take it back i'm half jill and half jack two halves are equal a cross between two evils it's not an enviable lot but if you listen you'll learn to hear the difference between the halfs and half nots and when i let him in i feel the stitches getting sicker i try to wash him out but like they say the blood is thicker i see my mother in my face but only when i travel i run as fast as i can run but jack comes tumbling after and when i'm brave enough and find a clever way to kick him out and i'm so high not even you and all your love could bring me down on 83rd he never found the magic words to change the fact: i'm half jill i'm half jack i'm halfway home now half hoping for a showdown 'cause i'm not big enough to house this crowd it might destroy me but i'd sacrifice my body if it meant i'd get the jack part out SEE JACK RUN
5.
01:24
6.
coin-operated boy sitting on the shelf he is just a toy but i turn him on and he comes to life automatic joy that is why i want a coin-operated boy made of plastic and elastic he is rugged and long-lasting who could ever, ever ask for more? love without complications galore many shapes and weights to choose from i will never leave my bedroom i will never cry at night again wrap my arms around him and pretend coin-operated boy all the other real ones that i destroy cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll never let him go and i'll never be alone not with my coin-operated boy this bridge was written to make you feel smittener with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer will you extract me from my plastic fantasy i didn't think so but i'm still convincible will you still persist even after i bet you a billion dollars that i'll never love you and will you persist even after i kiss you good-bye for the last time will you keep on trying to prove it i'm dying to lose it i'm losing my confidence i want to i want you i want a coin-operated boy and if i had a star to wish on for my life i can't imagine any flesh and blood would be his match i can even take him in the bath coin-operated boy he may not be real experienced with girls but i know he feels like a boy should feel isn't that the point? that is why i want a coin-operated boy with a pretty coin-operated voice saying that he loves that he's thinking of me straight and to the point that is why i want a coin-operated boy
7.
04:19
gravity plays favorites i know it 'cause i saw honest to god, officer it's awful down at work i'm getting too familiar with the floor trading in my talents by the mouthful hate to break it to you but it's out of my control forces go to work while we are sleeping if i could attack with a more sensible approach obviously that's what i'd be doing.... right? now necks are cracking sideways hit me from the back side i am on the white side you are on the black side out a piece that's bite size shoot me from my good side if you want a straight line this'd be a good time gravity works slowly if you notice it at all some of us are getting mighty lucky aren't we if you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall you think i can't fly? well you just watch me necks are cracking sideways hit me from back side i am on the thin side you are on the fat side cut a piece that's bite size shoot me from my bad side if you want a straight line this'd be a good time the sky is always falling down on me so officer, forgive me please
8.
03:01
biting keeps your words at bay ending to the sores that stay happiness is just a gash away when i open a familiar scar pain goes shooting like a star comfort hasn't failed to follow so far and you might say it's self-indulgent you might say it's self-destructive but you see it's more productive than if i were to be happy & pens and pen-knives take the blame crane my neck & scratch my name but the ugly marks are worth the momentary gain when i jab a sharpened object in choirs of angels seem to sing hymns of hate in memorandum and you might say it's self-indulgent you might say it's self-destructive but you see it's more productive than if i were to be healthy and sappy songs about sex and cheating bland accounts of two lovers meeting make me want to give mankind a beating and as the skin rips off i cherish the revolting thought that even if i quit there's not a chance in hell i'd stop and anyone can see the signs mittens in the summertime thank-you for your pity, you are too kind and you might say it's self-destructive but you see i'd kick the bucket sixty times before i'd kick the habit and you might say it's self-inflicted but you see that's contradictive why on earth would anyone practice self-destruction? and pain opinions are sitcom feeding they don't know that their minds are teething makes me want to give mankind a beating... i've tried bandages and sinking i've tried gloves and even thinking i've tried vaseline... i've tried everything... and no-one cares if your back is bleeding they're concerned with their hair receding looking back it was all maltreating every thought that occurred misleading... makes me want to give myself a beating...
9.
i could make a dress a robe fit for a prince i could clothe a continent but i can't sew a stitch i can paint my face and stand very very still it's not very practical but it still pays the bills i can't change my name but i could be your type i can dance and win at games like backgammon & life i used to be the smart one sharp as a tack funny that how skipping years ahead has held me back i used to be the bright one top in my class funny what they give you when you just learn how to ask i can write a song but i can't sing in key i can play piano but i never learned to read i can't trap a mouse but i can pet a cat no i'm really serious i'm really very good at that i can't fix a car but i can fix a flat i could fix a lot of things but i'd rather not get into that i used to be the bright one smart as a whip funny how you slip so far when teachers don't keep track of it i used to be the tight one the perfect fit funny how those compliments can make you feel so full of it i can shuffle, cut and deal but i can't draw a hand i can't draw a lot of things i hope you understand i'm not exceptionally shy but i've never had a man who i could straight in the eye and tell my secret plans i can take a vow and i can wear a ring and i can make you promises but they won't mean a thing can't you just do it for me? i'll pay you well... fuck i'll give you anything if you could end this can't you just fix it for me it's gone berserk fuck i'll give you anything if you can make the damn thing work can't you just fix it for me? i'll pay you well... fuck i'll pay you anything... if you could end this hell...
10.
i've been driving around town with my head spinning around everywhere i look i see your '96 jeep cherokee you're a bully and a clown you made me cry and put me down after all that i've been through you'd think i'd hate the sight of you but with every jeep i see my broken heart still skips a beat i guess it's just my stupid luck that all of boston drives the same black fucking truck it could be him or am i tripping and i'm crashing into everything and thinking about skipping town awhile until these cars go out of style i try to see it in reverse it makes the situation hundreds of times worse when i wonder if it makes you want to cry every time you see a light blue volvo driving by so don't tell me if you're off to see the world i know you won't get very far don't tell me if you get another girl, baby just tell me if you get another car the number of them is insane every exit's an ex-boyfriend memory lane every major street's a minor heart attack i see a red jeep and i want to paint it black it could be him or am i tripping and i'm crashing into everything i can't wait til you trade the damn thing in buy it and they will have put me in the loony bin it could be him my heart is pounding it's just no use i'm surrounded but one day i'll steal your car and switch the gears and drive that cherokee straight off this trail of tears
11.
04:30
a late april day and it's sunny outside and a red little girl is at the top of a slide and an orange old man at the bottom wants to take her for a ride so she slips and she tumbles the orange man mumbles pennies fall down from the sky and he tells her he'll take her away where it's safe and of course it is a lie she's a third the way down and her skirts are yanked up and her little girl cheeks start to wrinkle but her smile is wide and her legs are spread wider her hair growing long and her hips getting wider past getting brighter light growing weaker she is halfway down now but the man is impatient shakes change in his pocket he might have to wait but she's coming... who are you blaming they're just playing (that's a good one) who left the playground a good decade before the bell rang as she starts to draw nearer the view becomes clearer the splinters are painful but she doesn't feel it the pennies were loaded and as they exploded she starts to spin out of control her eyes are now closing her sleeves are unrolling up past her head and her veins are all showing not that she noticed she's thoroughly focused on one old man who's laughing who's laughing... don't worry i've got you THE ORANGE MAN GOT YOU
12.
08:34
you can have washington i'll take new jersey you can have london but i want new york city i should get providence i've got a job now los angeles - obvious - that's where you belong now you can have africa, asia, australia as long as you keep your hands off café pamplona we can split germany right down the middle you'd hate it there anyway take berlin and we'll call it even you can have all of the carry-on baggage i'll trade the saskia jokes for the alphabet language and special occasions we'll split between parents who forced us to hate them on alternating weekends you call it over and i call you psycho significant other??? just say we were lovers and we'll call it even i am the tower around which you orbited i am not proud i am just taking orders i fall to the ground within hours of impact i hit back when hit and attack when attacked i am the ground zero ex-friend you ordered disguised as a hero to get past your borders i know when i'm wanted i'll leave if you ask me to mind my own business and speak when i'm spoken to you get rt. 2 between concord and lexington i want mass ave from the square to my apartment and if we should meet through some misunderstanding i'll be very sweet very patient and forgiving (now get off my side of the state) and if we should see one another in passing despite these techniques there is sometimes no avoiding (there must be some kind of mistake) we'll raise high the white flags and bow heads and shake hands declaring the land we're on unamerican we'll call it even i am the tower around which you orbited i am not proud i am just taking orders i fall to the ground within hours of impact i hit back when hit and attack when attacked and i am an accident waiting to happen i'm laughing like mad as you strangle the captain my place may be taken but make no mistake from a little black box i can say without shame that you've lost so take whatever you'd like i'll strike like the states on fire you won't sleep very tight no hiding no safe cover make your bed and now lie just like you always do you can fake it for the papers but i'm onto you...

about

"Accept the worst, expect the worst, DEMAND the worst" - Karen Mantler

credits

released September 26, 2003

Amanda Palmer: Piano, Toy Piano & Vocals
Brian Vilgione: Drums, Guitar, Vocals & Percussion

All songs written/composed by Amanda Palmer
Produced/Engineered by Martin Bisi & The Dresden Dolls
Recorded at B.C. Studios (Brooklyn, NY)
Mastered by Fred Kevorkian at Absolute Studio (NYC, NY)
Album cover photo by Lisa Lunskaya Gordon

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